From a Postnatal Pilates Instructor Who Has Been There

I’ve worked with postnatal women for over a decade and no amount of training could have prepared me for what it’s REALLY like to recover and heal after having a baby.

If you’re reading this and you’re expecting your first baby, please know you are stronger than you know and you will be amazing, especially because you are educating yourself now. If you’re reading this hours, weeks, months, or years after giving birth, please know you are amazing and stronger than you ever knew - and that it’s never too late to address whatever weakness, pain, or insecurity you’re feeling in your body since birth.

I did Pilates my entire pregnancy, and I was pregnant for a very long time - 42 weeks to be exact. That’s a lot of Pilates! I know this helped my body prepare for birth and for recovery after birth. What I didn’t know was how weak I’d feel after giving birth. 

I quickly learned the main thing I needed for my body when recovering wasn’t an exercise or a do’s and don’ts list. It was patience and kindness. 

I thought I’d be bouncing back 6-weeks postpartum. I did not. In fact, I learned there was no “bouncing back” to be had. I quickly realized that just like the passage of going through puberty, where my body completely changed into a new form and way of being, I was passing into a new way of being. This might sound depressing but hear me out.

You might read articles saying that after giving birth your abs feel non-existent. I’ve read one article suggesting a woman’s abs are “blown-out” after birth. These are not the best things to read when you’ve just done the most amazing thing a body can do. Even I have to admit that I texted my Pelvic Health Physical Therapy friend at 3 weeks postpartum in a panic that I had zero abs and also couldn’t engage my pelvic floor. Even with all my training, I thought this was going to be my reality for the rest of my life. I felt like I had no control and it was scary.

She graciously reminded me that the way I felt at 3 weeks postpartum was not even close to how I’d ultimately feel in my body. It takes some time for the abdominals to begin working efficiently again and this is why:

After 9 or 10 months of pregnancy, the body is used to having the biofeedback of being pregnant. In short, the abdominals get used to levering off of your baby bump through pregnancy and so when there suddenly is not a baby bump, the neurological system doesn’t know how to send the signal to your physical body to engage. 

Of course. That makes sense! My neurological system and my physical body needed to sync up again to figure out how to engage and operate. This is where I’m reminded that a mind-Body connection is not a woo-woo idea.

Teaching my abdominals how to engage when there wasn’t a baby to lever off of took time. Connecting with my pelvic floor and the ability to engage my pelvic floor muscles took even more time. Strengthening my pelvic floor enough for a small uterine prolapse to heal took even longer. And it wasn’t until 8 months postpartum that I felt physically ready to try a weight lifting + cardio class where I only walked on the treadmill and the heaviest weight I picked up was 5lbs.

I thought I’d be so much further along in my healing and strengthening journey. I’d been told time and time again that it takes 9 months to grow a baby and put on weight, so it takes 9 months to “get my body back” and lose the weight. 

This was not even close to my experience and I felt like a failure.

But maybe this is the stronger truth than, I have failed —

Any timeline expectation placed on a trying-to-heal-and-be-a-normal-person mama is toxic and not at all the reality of what it means to heal after giving birth, whether that birth was vaginal or cesarean. 

There is no ideal timeline — only YOURS.