Filling Your Inner Well With Kindness
Hello Everyone,
I've been thinking about what I want to write to you and mostly I want to sit with you and hear how you're doing. I want to honor the loss you might be feeling, the frustration, the fear, and all the lessons you might be learning. No matter how much you have to be grateful for, we are collectively sitting in the mystery and next to grief.
The Pilates studio sits alone on 12th Street. I think of it often and of all the different people that have stepped through the doors. I think of all the different kinds of sessions that have been held there and through my musings I've identified one common thread that connects every person and every session in the studio:
Kindness.
Not only has every person been kind to one another — clients, instructors, renters alike. But every client, whether this was a clear intention or not, has shown up in order to show a little bit of kindness to their body and their life.
I think many of you sighed a sigh of relief when you walked through the studio doors for the first time and realized it's a unique space with unique people that is separate from the expectations of our busy city lives. It's a space where you can show up and remember who you are and why you deserve kindness. So what do we do when we don't have a physical space like that anymore?
We show up anyway.
Obviously don't ring the studio doorbell. And yes I definitely recommend signing up for our online classes or asking us about online one-on-one sessions if you aren't already showing up for those. But actually I'm talking about something deeper...
You have an infinite well inside of you that is ready to receive. You always have. Most of us (myself included) are used to filling this well with immediate gratification, busy-ness, and consumerism. Most of us don't inherently know how to fill our well with kindness. Maybe you're nodding your head right now or feeling some familiarity with my words.
I've spent a lifetime filling my well with questions of, "Am I enough? Will I succeed? What can I do right now to feel better? Am I doing what I should be doing? What will make my life more fulfilling? Does my body look ok?"
I realized recently that I was holding my breath so that I could suck in my midsection and hide my baby weight. I was not even aware that I was holding my breath so that I would look a certain way. This is clearly my own insecurity that was literally causing me to shut off a vital part of my self just so I would look/feel/be a certain way. Maybe that sounds familiar.
What is the alternative to the standard expectations of a busy, successful life?
It's being recommended to people who suspect or know they have COVID-19 to breathe. Many of us don't know HOW to breathe and simply think that we just breathe with our nose. Many of us don't know that breathing happens on a much deeper plane within our bodies and is the act of letting go and receiving. In a sense, breathing requires being willing to allow your body do your breathing for you. It means getting out of your own way, slowing down, and being open to acceptance.
(As a parent to a one-year old, currently without childcare, I am very aware of how loaded the words "slowing down" are so trust me on this one and keep reading.)
It might be an ideal time to ask yourself how you tend to treat your body. Do you hold your breath doing even the most simplistic task? Do you rely on cardio to get your breath pumping but forget about your lungs all other times? Are you holding your abs tight, making it impossible to expand your abdomen when you breathe? How much are you tensing your body on a daily basis so that you can look/feel/be a certain way?
Breathing isn't forced and it isn't shallow either.
It's receiving.
It's acceptance.
It's the opposite of constriction.
It's the act of sending kindness to your body with every single breath (every single breath = all. day. long.)
Could breathing be a key to living a more centered YOU-focused life?
Try it out and let me know. It will take 30 seconds.
Sitting or standing, make sure your shoulders are directly over your hips and your spine is long.
Place one hand on your heart and one on your abdomen.
Inhale through your nose and make sure you feel both hands extending out slightly meaning breath is causing your upper torso and your lower torso to expand.
Exhale through your nose or your mouth and feel that both hands fall gently back toward your spine.
Practice letting go the areas of your body that keep resisting the way an inhalation makes your torso expand.
Make sure you aren't forcing breath but are rather allowing it to enter your body and then allowing it to leave.
Email us if you can't quite get it and let us know how we can help you troubleshoot this.
When you do this breathing practice, do you feel your stress level soften? Does your body feel a little warmer on the inside? Do you appreciate the slowness you can feel inside your body? There is actual science and reason behind those feelings and it starts with your willingness and courage to fill your inner well with kindness.
For me, I've been feeling relief through allowing my breath to happen. My anxiety is more calm, my heart feels more open, and I'm working on accepting my body as-is. I feel like there has to be another way besides the race I've been on toward perfection. I feel a tug in a different direction and I feel that direction for most of us is inward. Going inward doesn't mean detaching from your body. In fact one lesson we are collectively learning from this virus is that our body is more important than ever.
with love,
